My Mental Health update...

I've been away for so long trying to tame my mental health.As you probably know from Louises beautiful post last week, I haven't been doing to good... in fact I haven't been good at all for a while. My Anxiety is still really high but I feel a lot better. The past few weeks my anxiety left me in a place where I was feeling depressed and lacking confidence. I realised while trying to figure out the problem that I always trying to please other people.

A message to my hero...

Everyone in their lives has someone that they look up to, someone who they think of a hero. For some people, this can be a celebrity, someone who they don’t know but surround themselves with their music, movies etc and we feel their influence that way. For me, I have a few heroes who I see on a regular basis, and they don’t even know that they are one. One of my heroes is my Best Friend.

Breathe... Exams will pass!!!

I have gathered some tips to help you feel calmer and more positive about exams or assignments that are ahead .

Telling you the truth...

I try to write the happiest of posts but unfortunately this is not going to be one. I want to be as real as I can be with you reading this. I want you to know that I am not always as strong as I sound. I have times where I crack but I will always know that the cracks will heal with a little time and patience.

Finding a new direction

Failing could be the best thing for you. It helps you learn, you appreciate success more and it will help you find what you truly love. Failing in school or failing to maintain stability with your mental health means that you can learn and improve on how you felt and what not to do next time.

The importance of talking about Mental Health

This week on social media and on television I have seen various accounts of people talking about how important it is for people with mental health to step out and talk about it. Having a mental health problem is nothing to be ashamed of so why is there so much stigma around the subject. 

Bullying

Bullying is something that affects thousands of children and adults every day. Bullying is defined as the behaviour that is intended to hurt someone this includes name calling, spreading rumours, threats and physically assaulting someone.

Anxiety tips and tricks

As some of you know, both Emily and I both suffer with Anxiety. It's something that we have both been very open about. Anxiety Disorder is actually a hugely common Mental Health condition. In fact according to the Mental Health Foundation " In 2013, there were 8.2 million cases of Anxiety in the UK". Because of this, I wanted to share with you some tips and tricks for handling days when your Anxiety is a little more severe.

Don't Give Up

Failing could be the best thing for you. It helps you learn, you appreciate success more and it will help you find what you truly love.

Failing in school or failing to maintain stability with your mental health means that you can learn and improve on how you felt and what not to do next time.

Does it ever end?

The thought of forever having a mental health illness used to make me feel trapped but after 5 years I have found that just because you have this hidden illness you don't have to feel like it rules over you.

Accepting there is something wrong is the best place to start. It took me at least a year and a half to accept that I had something wrong with me. After having gone through the most awful year of my life I decided to sit down and talk to someone about it. Accepting it was the best thing I have ever done about my mental health because accepting you have a problem but refusing to let it defeat you shows strength. No matter how long it takes. 

The good and bad days are the tricky bits. The good days are fantastic because you are so used to having bad days everyday to the point where a good day is a luxury. I 100% appreciate the good days now but the bad days show me how far I have come. When you have a bad day just try to remember that a good day will appear sometime. If you give up you will never know when that good day will come.

1, 2, 10 years down the line you won't know what your life will be like. I never expected 4 years ago that I will be writing a blog that I cherish so much advising people on how to cope, giving advice or sharing my mental health stories. There are so many people with mental health issues in the UK but the Government have made cut backs to the services that help us. With that service taken away I think its important to find a coping mechanism that suits you whether you have Anxiety, Depression, Schizophrenia or an Eating disorder. 

Mental Health is definitely underestimated and pushed aside. 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem in any given year. You will probably work with someone facing a MH problem. With this 9 in 10 people with a mental illness will experience stigma and discrimination where nearly 3 in 4 young people fear the reactions of friends when they talk about their mental health problems 

(TimetoChange.org.uk, 2016)

Anyone who wants to overcome an mental health problem are so STRONG because waking up, getting out of bed and living through everyday feels like hell and trust me I know how hard it is. By waking up and deciding that today you will fight back against your own mental state makes you BRAVE. They hold on to life even when it feels like its slipping away. That makes you AMAZING. 

So no it never ends but accepting its a part of you makes it easier to live with. You are not crazy, out of your mind or nuts. You are unique, one of a kind and YOU. Nobody can beat that. 

Good Luck. I love you all. 

 Emily xx

Being confident

My anxiety usually holds me back but I've learnt over the past few weeks/months/years that if you let a mental health problem hold you back you can't fully move forward. Mental health is a little quirk that needs to be accepted not only by society but also by you. If you have a mental health problem or you have a lack of self confidence, you need to let whatever it is that's causing the issue from holding you back. 

Focus on what you want. Most of the time a lack of confidence and insecurity stems from being scared of the negativity from people who really don't matter. Nowadays most people will see somebody do something different and put them down because they have done something that is different to everyone else. If you want to do something go ahead and do it because the ability to do something for you will attract light minded people, people who admire that little unique quirk. The people who are positive towards your achievements not the people who are negative to your aspirations, those are the people whose voice matters most. 

Be happy, Be Confident, Be YOU! 

Love, Emily xx

Mental Health Awareness Week

Many of you know that we are strong supporters of recovery for any kind of mental illness, we believe it is just as important as any other kind of physical illness and yet it does not get the same kind of acceptance from the public. What very few of you will probably know is that this week is actually Mental Health Awareness Week.

Just like last weeks post, we wanted to hopefully make you feel a little less alone if you do suffer with one. One way to do this is for us to showcase just HOW common it is and maybe even educate you all so that you understand, even briefly, about some of the illnesses. I speak from experience when I say that people very rarely can fully understand just how you feel and so I have found that the more they know about my situation, the better it is for me. People cannot support you if they do not understand what is going on, which is another reason why I am such a big advocate for recovery!

Louise's Story

I remember when I first got my diagnosis' back in 2013 and I had no idea what the heck the doctors were talking about. There was a lot of jargon and I was being labelled under all of these things but it was never actually explained to me what they meant...so I had to do my own research. One of the first places I ended up going to was the site for renowned charity Mind, and what made things even more perfect is that they had classifications for all of the different types of Mental Health problems. It is most likely the one site that you can use to find out pretty much anything about a MHP. 

Emily's Story
I remember always being anxious about such simple social things and I was down all of the time. So I took to the internet and typed in what my symptoms were e.g. Withdrawal from friends, fear of talking to strangers, terrified of eating in public and I soon found out about social anxiety and depression. I didn't need a diagnosis from a doctor to know what was wrong with me. I had depression for many years and still get the odd outburst of it today and I live everyday with Anxiety but I don't stop fighting. As Louise said I ended up on Mind, and that gave me all of the information I needed to know what was wrong and how I could use self therapy to help myself. It is not a thing you can do alone. I thought that with self therapy no one needed o know and I could overcome it by myself. That is not the case. I needed the support of my friends and my wonderful boyfriend to help get me through it. It's important not to face these things alone. People will understand and there will always be someone like you going through the same battle. 

Fast facts:

1. 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem in any given year
2. you will probably work with someone facing a MH problem (so no we aren't unable to work...although it may be true in some severe cases)
3. 1 in 10 young people will experience a MH problem
4. 9 in 10 people with a mental illness will experience stigma and discrimination
5. nearly 3 in 4 young people fear the reactions of friends when they talk about their mental health problems 

(TimetoChange.org.uk, 2016)

how common are the illnesses?

Depression: 2.6 in 100 people

Anxiety:4.7 in 100 people

Mixed anxiety and depression:9.7 in 100 people

Phobias: 2.6 in 100 people

OCD: 1.3 in 100 people

Panic disorder: 1.2 in 100 people

Post traumatic stress disorder: 3.0 in 100 people

Eating disorders: 1.6 in 100 people

(Mind, 2016)

Male Mental Health is IMPORTANT!

Why is it that men have to fit the stereotypical strong and unbreakable role?

Well this week I have thought a lot about male mental health and just how under spoken about it is. Facing the stigma and issues of a mental health problem is hard enough but we really struggle to understand why it is easier to accept that a female has this issue or that they can speak up about it but a male cannot. Nearly 4 in 5 suicides (78%) are by men and is the biggest cause of death for men under 35 also 12.5% of men in the UK are suffering from one of the common mental health disorders. (Men’s Health Forum, July 2014)

I recently heard on the radio that anorexia in men is not taken serious enough but why is that? Is it because men shouldn’t have such a weakness or is it that they have to fit the persona that is suited to their gender. The stigma that goes with male mental health is huge and also unnecessary.  

So after some research, we found out that 7.7% of children aged 5-10 years have a mental disorder but boys are twice as likely to get these disorders than girls. Yet, from an early age we have always experienced young boys being told to “get over it” or “man up” if they need help or are struggling with something. It might seem insignificant at the time but we are all entitled to support and to feel like we are valued in life and starting this negativity at an early age isn’t healthy

.

One of the things that men have said that they struggle with the most is the stigma. Its very hard for anyone to say that they are struggling and that they need help, but for men it is harder for them to speak out because it is not often talked about and is seen as something that as a male shouldn’t be happening. There is so much stigma to mental health as a whole but for men there seems to be that extra bit of added pressure. Opening up to your family and admitting that there is something wrong and that you are not the strong unbreakable male that you are “supposed” to be must be the worst feeling in the world which is why most men do not speak out and do not tell their families.

When I Googled information on Male mental health statistics I found a lot of sources that were quite literally all about depression and suicide. Now to me that's disgusting because depression is not the only mental health issue a male can have. Anxiety, Eating disorders, Schizophrenia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder etc. can all be male and female issues.

In today’s world we are so focused on males and females being different that we forget that we are all human. Everyone has their struggles but some need that extra bit of strength to defeat them.

Here to help;

STRIDE 

http://www.digm.org/

Greater Manchesters 10-20 year olds dance project, developed by the Dance Initiative Greater Manchester (DiGM). It is a free project that improves;

• Physical fitness and wellbeing- through regular dance sessions that challenge strength, cardiovascular health, agility and flexibility
• Mental health- through opportunities to develop creative ideas, for self expression, and engagement in a positive environment
• Confidence and self esteem- through challenging participants to step out of their comfort zone and supporting achievement through performance
• Life skills- through providing opportunities to value the importance of teamwork, goal setting, commitment and time management

MEN IN SHEDS 

http://menssheds.org.uk/

This place provides recreational activities for (mainly men go but women are welcome too!) which will help their physical and mental wellbeing. This opportunity is open for men over the age of 55 and quite often just provides a warm emotional atmosphere for individuals to just take their mind off their worries and make some great friends.

CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably)

http://thecalmzone.net/

This campaign is targeted at young men aged between 15-35 and offers help, information and advice via a free, anonymous and confidential phone line and web service.

MINDOUT

http://www.mindout.org.uk/

This is an advocacy, advice and information service for anyone in the LGBT community with Mental Health difficulties. It was founded in 1999 after issues relating to homophobic and heteronormative behaviour and attitudes in history from staff and service users.   

MEN GET ED’S TOO 

http://mengetedstoo.co.uk/

This is a peer support group in Brighton and Hove which was made available to men with eating and exercise disorders. The peer support group is for men of all ages, backgrounds and sexualities with the aim to “ease the isolation and secrecy they experience”.

Don't Let Stress Stop You From Being Happy

Stress is one of those things that can be caused by literally anything. There range of things that cause stress are that vast that everyone gets stressed by something different depending on the situation. Sometimes there isn't even an obvious cause.

Although stress sends out negative vibes it does have some positives because it causes us to be more alert so if we were put in a situation that is out of our comfort zones, we will perform better a the task. Even in some cases people with anxiety can overcome the stress with positive outcomes. Although public speaking in my case is not something I wish to do however I know that there is no choice but not to talk in front of a small crowd due to my university course.  Stress is only healthy if its short lived, long lived amount of stress can have emotional and physical effects on the body.

To help calm your stress quickly you need to relax your mind and body. Now this doesn't mean that you have to take the extremes of meditating and doing yoga every time you get stressed but it does mean that you need to relax your muscles and breathe. By breathing slowly the oxygen will get into your bloodstream causing your muscles to relieve some tension.

If things get too much, don't be afraid to seek professional help from your GP. Most people are reluctant to get help as they believe that they are a failure but this is definitely not the case. Leaving your stress to get progressively worse can lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression so it is better to seek help when things get too much because the sooner it's dealt with the happier you will be.

Websites to visit to see tips and information about how to cope with stress:
- www.mind.org.uk
- www.nhs.uk
- www.mentalhealthamerica.net
- www.helpguide.org

Love,

Emily xxx

When things just get too much

So naturally, everyone experiences different things in their lives and we all face different hardships. The issue we often face is that these problems go unseen by most, no matter how much we may be 'crying out for help' or even really trying to hide it. throughout my life, I have had a few setbacks, and a few issues (just like everyone else!).

Something that I have learned is that when things just all seem to be going really stupendously wrong, I have to stop. I have to stop freaking out, stop crying, stop overthinking things, just stop reacting. I have a tendency to overreact to most situations, whether they are good or bad which obviously isn't going to end well. recently I was in a situation and I literally though it was the end of the world. I thought everyone was against me, everyone hated me, I even cried myself to sleep that night and it took someone telling me that I need to "grow up" to snap me out of it. it was literally like a slap in the face but it was strangely what I needed. It was a kick up the bum to get my act together and start being more productive and use my time better.

Prioritise
During my time in Sixth form, I was introduced to something called 'eating the frog' which is where when deciding what you're going to do that day, you begin the day with the thing that you are dreading the most. Once you have done it, its a huge weight off your shoulders, you feel so much more positive and its thoroughly motivating because you feel as though you have accomplished a lot. When choosing my frog, I take into consideration the timing of each thing and when the deadlines (if there is one) are. My tip to you overall is to not do the easy things that have no real rush to them. It causes the huge things to get more time consuming because there's so little time left.

Take time out for yourself
When everything seems to be piling on top of you, everyone tends to just try to get through as much of the issue as they can at once. One prime example of this is work. whenever I have a lot of work to do, I always began the task with doing little bits thinking that it was enough and I would "do more the next day"...Obviously this didn't happen half the time. Then when deadlines start to creep up, I panic. I try to do all of the work in one huge chunk, which causes my insomnia to rear its ugly head. In turn this actually makes it harder to concentrate and therefore frustrates me and makes me emotional because although I realistically know that I am able to do something, I physically and intellectually cannot due to the circumstances. I have to do work in small chunks, taking time out just to stretch my legs, go for a walk, pet an animal, have a conversation for someone, or even something as simple as going to make yourself a hot drink. I like to follow the idea that until the drink has cooled enough for me to drink it (and has been drunk) I do not touch one single textbook, notepad, keyboard etc. This would give me the time that I needed to keep calm and not essentially fry my brain.

Overall, whenever you're having a tough time, don't be hard on yourself, be open to asking for and accepting help and lastly, have hope. everything will be okay.

Stay strong,
Louise x

Fixing a broken heart

*May contain explicit language

Its that time of year again when shops are full of chocolate hearts and roses. Valentine's day can either be the best or worst day of the year so for people who have had their heartbroken over the past few months and still find the wound a bit sore. I took to Google and discovered that when you type in 'ways to mend a broken heart' its all aimed at women who have had a man break her heart but why is this. Men don't display their emotions to the outside world and keep them held back and put a mask on it. They hurt just as much as females. A break up hurts both people. So here is some advice and some tips to help get you through.

Friends

Whether your male or female you will feel the aftermath of a break up. Some can be messy, some can be mutual and some can happen just like that. Breakups are never easy because the person we thought would never leave does. The amount of emotional pain that is encountered while going through a separation can be unbearable but comfort food and alcohol is not the way through it. When I went through a messy separation I found myself suffering quite heavily from depression but I put a face on it until one day it cracked and I broke down. Talking to friends helps a lot. This is why when you get into a relationship you shouldn't push your friends away, when I found I couldn't talk to my friends I listened to either break up songs or ones that reminded me of the relationship until I found one day that I had stopped feeling anything for the songs that's when I learnt that I have to move on. 

Rebounds

Rebounds are also not a good idea and after having quite a few I can honestly say that from experience. Rebounds are awful because you get into an unwanted relationship with someone you don't really have feelings with just to feel loved. I had a boy who I got into a relationship that I really didn't want to be with because I had 0% interest in him. As awful as it sounds I did it just to feel loved by someone because I knew he had feelings for me. I got called a lot of disgusting things just because of what I had done but now I look back I regret it. So what I'm trying to say is don't go for a rebound it doesn't end well. 

Ignore

There will also be people who tell you that you shouldn't let go of the person who left you, well IGNORE them. Its Bullshit. If someone dumped you because of something so small like a little lie that doesn't really take affect on them then leave them. Find someone who's not going to be so dramatic. If someone left you for a reason like wanting to get their mental health back on the right tracks then that's fine you can wait for them to get back on the mend then try again if you still have feelings for them if not move on. There will always be different reasons for breaking up some simple like falling out of love (Mutual Break up) to Cheating (Messy Breakup).

I have had my fair share of shit breakups which hurt like hell but one day they wont matter anymore because you will find someone who can understand you and loves you for you. We all have a past that should be left behind but someone who loves you will help you find a way to leave it in the past. 

No matter how hard life gets as long as you have friends and sad Taylor swift style breakup songs you can defeat any break up. So keep your head up, smile and get out there you are free to do what you want don't wallow in pity because someone broke you. You need to find ways that kill the pain so you can start fixing yourself until you find someone to fill the missing piece.

I love you all and thanks to my amazing friends for helping me through some of the darkest times. 

Tweet us different ways you find are helpful when dealing with a broken heart or share some of your stories. There will always be someone there for you no matter what your feeling.
 All quotes can be found here: Pinterest: Quotes used in Blog Post

Emily xx

Eating Disorders

Not just eating too little....

Eating disorders, although often seen as something linked to "attention seeking" or "just in the head", are conditions that can affect someone physically, psychologically and socially. They are serious mental illnesses and include anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder. 

"Over 725,000 men and women in the UK are affected by eating disorders."

Although serious, eating disorders are treatable conditions and full recovery is possible. The sooner someone gets the treatment they need, the more likely they are to make a full recovery.

Eating disorder fast facts;

-Anyone can develop an eating disorder, regardless of their age, sex or cultural background.

-Eating disorders claim more lives than any other mental illness – one in five of the most seriously affected will die prematurely from the physical consequences or suicide.

-Eating disorders are complex and there is no one single reason why someone develops an eating disorder.

-The causes of eating disorders still baffle health professionals Which has lead to extensive research over the years...we'll get there!

-Eating disorders are complex and not everyone will experience the same symptoms. People will respond differently to treatment and can take different amounts of time to recover.

- Some people can be affected by more than one type of eating disorder or find their symptoms changing type as they recover.

My story 

I've suffered with eating Problems from a very young age. Starting with extreme confidence issues at just 5 years old, I began a dangerous spiral of eating issues. Health professionals constantly worried over my weight which in fact only increased my obsession in how "fat" I was. 

No one wants to believe that a little child has eating issues (especially me) and so they went undiagnosed for several years, until the age of 16. Eating only a handful of mouthfuls of food a day for over a year lead to being unable to go more than down the street before nearly passing out. I was wearing children's clothes and crying my way through every day and night. The Anorexia destroyed my relationships between my friends and family until I had no one that I felt I could turn to. I considered suicide, self harmed daily and fell into a deep rut of Depression and Anxiety. 

Finally I had scared myself enough to seek treatment. I can honestly say that it is one of the most terrifying things that I have ever done, but do you know what? It's one of the best things that I have ever done. I am no longer over exercising and struggling with my daily activities. Life is so much better that it was two years ago. Moral of the story? Things are different for everyone, but that doesn't mean anything negative. It means that we are all unique and have a different path to follow than everyone else. You will get to your place of peace with work, determination and self love. 

Advice

Her Campus is just one of the many online communities that blog about mental health awareness and have even created The Loving Me Project. The online community has countless numbers of blogs, websites, and social media accounts that can provide support from the comfort of your own home.

B-eat 
Helpline: 0345 634 1414
Youth Line: 0345 634 7650
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/support-services/helpline 

All you need to do is have the courage to try.

Stay strong
- Louise xoxo

Fear and Anxiety

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions. It affects the mind and the body. 

I am not an expert about these things but I have gathered some research and I know what its like because I've experienced it. If you want to read into it some more I'll leave some link at the bottom :)

Fear and Anxiety is an odd thing because for different people it can have different outcomes. For some people it can last a short amount of time and can pass quite quickly but for others it can last a long time and can progress into something more. In some cases they can take over your whole life which can seriously hold you back from doing the things you love. It's hard to break the cycle of being overwhelmed by fear or anxiety but it is not impossible. You can learn to cope with it so you can get some of your life back.

Things that happen when you are feeling seriously anxious: 

- Heart beats become very fast - It feels like they are irregular.
- Breathing exhilarates
- Dizziness
- Nagging sense of fear
- Irritable
- Headaches/Migraines
- Loss of self confidence

12 Things to start doing for yourself
1. Start spending time with the right people. Spend your time with someone who loves you, helps you smile when it feels impossible to and who understands you.
2. Start facing problems head on.
3. Start being honest with yourself about everything.
4.start making your own happiness your priority.
5. Start giving your dreams and ideas a chance.
6. Start believing that you are ready for that next step.
7. Start forgiving others and yourself.
8. Start finding the beauty in the small things.
9. Start being open about how you really feel.
10. Make goals for everyday and start completing them.
11.Start accepting things that seem less than perfect.
12. Be your genuine self. BE YOU!

I believe in anyone who wants overcome anxiety because they wake up, get out of bed even when it feels like hell. That makes them STRONG. They do things even when it makes them anxious. That makes them BRAVE. They hold on t life even when it feels like its slipping away. That makes them AMAZING. 

I am so proud of anxiety fighters and they should be proud of themselves. 

Love, 

           Emily xxx

Mind

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/#.VfAB6yVViko

Time-to-Change

http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/category/blog/anxiety