Dear Anxiety,
I never asked for you? Why are you here? You have made my life such a misery. You have held me back, Knocked me down and caused some major confidence issues.
I get anxious when I eat in front of people, I get anxious being in a crowd and I get anxious when meeting new people. You have made me emotionally and physically ill and you have made me suffer in ways I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
What did I do to deserve this? Have I done something wrong? Was it the bullies always telling me I wasn't good enough? Why did you have to join in? You made me feel like there was no way to overcome the pain. I self harmed for you. You made me hurt myself when I was so angry at not being normal. I used to think I was just crazy, pathetic and worthless. What kind of teenager is afraid of the outside world? Clubbing is a thing most 19 year old's enjoy so why cant I?
Although you have hurt me you are my oldest friend. We go way back you and I. Back to before high school, make up and boyfriends. All through my life I thought I was just shy until the year my Grandad died. You hit me full force and there has never been a going back. You knew my Granddad made me feel safe and calm so why did you wait for him to die to be at your worst? Before the panic attacks and the locking myself in my bedroom to cry I was able to handle you but nowadays I struggle you just make me sick. I'm sick whenever I get overwhelmingly anxious. Why do you do that to me?
Although you feel like you are winning the battle Anxiety. You are not winning the war. I'm fighting back. I wont let you govern my life. I have found happiness in people I trust and they guide me through every obstacle you throw at me. You are just as bad as the bullies who ripped me down but like them I thank you. Thank you for making me who I am now. Thank you for allowing me to have the strength to blog about you and to help others like me who have suffered from you. You may have made me suffer for 9 years but you have been a massive part of my life. We have had our ups and downs but you made me strong. Stronger than I ever thought I would be.
You are not only my enemy. You are my friend. You may always be here but don't make yourself too comfortable because I will never stop fighting this war with you.
I'm strong and you are not going to rule over my life.
With love,
Emily xx
Thank you for reading xx
I get anxious when I eat in front of people, I get anxious being in a crowd and I get anxious when meeting new people. You have made me emotionally and physically ill and you have made me suffer in ways I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
What did I do to deserve this? Have I done something wrong? Was it the bullies always telling me I wasn't good enough? Why did you have to join in? You made me feel like there was no way to overcome the pain. I self harmed for you. You made me hurt myself when I was so angry at not being normal. I used to think I was just crazy, pathetic and worthless. What kind of teenager is afraid of the outside world? Clubbing is a thing most 19 year old's enjoy so why cant I?
Although you have hurt me you are my oldest friend. We go way back you and I. Back to before high school, make up and boyfriends. All through my life I thought I was just shy until the year my Grandad died. You hit me full force and there has never been a going back. You knew my Granddad made me feel safe and calm so why did you wait for him to die to be at your worst? Before the panic attacks and the locking myself in my bedroom to cry I was able to handle you but nowadays I struggle you just make me sick. I'm sick whenever I get overwhelmingly anxious. Why do you do that to me?
Although you feel like you are winning the battle Anxiety. You are not winning the war. I'm fighting back. I wont let you govern my life. I have found happiness in people I trust and they guide me through every obstacle you throw at me. You are just as bad as the bullies who ripped me down but like them I thank you. Thank you for making me who I am now. Thank you for allowing me to have the strength to blog about you and to help others like me who have suffered from you. You may have made me suffer for 9 years but you have been a massive part of my life. We have had our ups and downs but you made me strong. Stronger than I ever thought I would be.
You are not only my enemy. You are my friend. You may always be here but don't make yourself too comfortable because I will never stop fighting this war with you.
I'm strong and you are not going to rule over my life.
With love,
Emily xx
Thank you for reading xx
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